November 30: The Judicial Court System

Today was a day full of inconveniences, most inconvenient of all was my trip to the local courthouse to pay the most ludicrous fine I have ever heard of. Now I know that the state government is constantly trying to rob us of our precious hard earned money, but the punishment I received today was so over the line I can hardly write this entry.

About a month ago I was an extremely populated tailgate for a football game. I am of age to drink so obviously I was partying. Now any normal person knows that at an SEC school football tailgates are a big deal; they are very loud, obnoxious, and most of all extremely fun. It only takes on little ride by of a cop on a bike to ruin 300 peoples' fun for the day. On this day, I was randomly selected to be royally screwed out of my fun.

30 minutes before game time any person with a brain and a liver would know that the stadium and its surrounding territory are full of loud and drunk fans. For some reason the police decide that this is the most appropriate time to seek and destroy any and every person's partying for the day. I was approached by a police officer and asked to follow him to a secluded corner of the house at which I was partying. He proceeded to ask me if I lived at the house and I responded with a simple no. He then said "oh well, that doesn't matter, you are getting stuck with the noise ordinance citation." I calmly inquired why of all 300 people there I was chosen to receive this citation and he responded with "because you were standing there." Really? Because I was standing there, that seems like a legitimate reason to get sodomized by the law. After 30 minutes of reasoning and apologizing for partying I took the citation and continued partying. Little did I know the consequences of this little party citation.

Of course throughout the rest of the day I bitched to my friends about how I got randomly chosen to get called out for a noise ordinance citation and told that the police got a "complaint" from a neighbor. A neighbor? Really? All of the neighbors if I recall were so incapacitated that they could not even use a cell phone. So the lying by the police was also frustrating.

Today I was hit with a $204 fine...$204???? For wrongly being accused of being loud? A 2 minute court hearing telling me that I owed the money costs $154 dollars and a $50 fine for being "loud." Ridiculous.

So what have I learned? You obviously can not party in a group of no less than 70,000 people or else you will get selected and fined for being too loud. Apologizing for partying does not work either. Just take this and understand that when you choose to party keep a look out and get ready to be guilty of being too "loud." Oh and also keep $50,000 in your pocket to pay the fine too.

Why Twilight Sucks

Okay so this is a very random and unexpected post. Usually these blogs are not intended to be centered around stupid pop culture topics such as the movie Twilight, but this calls for desperate attention. About an hour ago I went downstairs and unfortunately saw that my roommates made the terrible mistake of wasting 2 hours of their lives on watching Twilight.

There have been plenty of ridiculous vampire movies in the past, but this one incorporates an even more sappy love story. Hold on, I forgot to emphasize that we are talking about making movies about vampires, mythical creatures that suck blood to survive and can't see the light of day without disappearing into some kind of dust. Sounds pretty dumb to me. Now on to the hit sensation Twilight, which sucks.

This movie somehow capture the attention of an enormous audience ranging from newborn babies that can't even speak to sophisticated CEOs of companies. Hopefully if you are reading this you have not made the mistake of watching Twilight, so I will try and regurgitate any information about the movie.

I must say that Twilight, as much as it is intended to be a drama about vampires, was to me an extremely funny flick about scrawny messed up hair douche bags that can run fast and talk at an intense whisper volume. I mean honestly, if you are disagreeing with me try this: go rent the movie again but before watching try and realize how stupid the concept is. Next, turn the movie on and proceed to watch the beginning. Now, after watching a few minutes of the movie, please listen to the "vampires'" commentary and try not to laugh. Lastly, hopefully you will realize HOW dumb these actors sound and HOW dumb the movie is.

After you laugh hysterically at what vampires and a sappy love story played out in a movie is, slap yourself in the face and come back to reality. The movie Twilight is a very bad love story. There is nothing worse than a bad love story. Next, after you realize what a bad love story Twilight is, try and also think about that vampires make up the majority of the main characters....vampires.

I know this is a very childish first blog but after going downstairs and seeing my roommates wasting their time on Twilight I had to write about it. I told them they may as well have been watching Keanu Reeves give his take on Global Warming. Stay tuned, the next post will cover a more important subject, which means just about anything.

Waddle

Hello Everyone

This is the much anticipated first blog of my blogging career. It seems that on a daily basis I influence people in such a way that I felt the need to extend my words to a broader audience. What better way to do that than to start a blog in the internet (the world wide web).

Many people have asked for this in my personal life so I now after a long wait I will give advice and pose interesting questions on a daily basis to the general public. Because this this is the introductory blog there will be no insight or advice, just purely a grand greeting from me to you and hopes that you read my daily poetry and recite it to the world as you carry on your daily life.

Yes I know what you are thinking, who is this arrogant minion, but trust me, after a few days you will be hooked and want to keep reading. I hope from this you take a positive reaction and from my blogs you will learn and question many valuable things in your life.

I will leave you with this, a simple thank you, for taking the time to read the greeting blog and I will hopefully entertain your daily life with things I have to say (or write). I will write the first entry soon, enjoy your days until then.

Waddle